


still my bleeding heart

by rubric



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jakku, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo meets Rey on Jakku, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, No Smut, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubric/pseuds/rubric
Summary: Oneshot reimagining of events/scenes in The Force Awakens.Concept:What if bleeding a lightsaber causes a darksider pain? During the events of TFA, Kylo goes to Niima to get help repairing his lightsaber.  Rey repairs his lightsaber, and so much more.---The Kyber crystal has been screaming for so long, it has become background noise.It is the cry he falls asleep to.It is the alarm he wakes up to.It has textures and personalities.   It is a faint, but persistent shriek.  The squawk of a broken com speaker.  A wail dragged out. It is relentless andalways there.“Do you hear that?” he had asked Snoke when he bled his crystal, wincing visibly.  Snoke only smiled.   Kylo did not ask again.Kylo’s head throbs whenever he is near his lightsaber.   And Kylo is never without his lightsaber.Kylo, for the past eight years, has lived with a constant, low-grade headache.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	still my bleeding heart

The Kyber crystal has been screaming for so long, it has become background noise.

It is the cry he falls asleep to. 

It is the alarm he wakes up to.

It has textures and personalities. It is a faint, but persistent shriek.The squawk of a broken com speaker.A wail dragged out. It is relentless and _always there._

“Do you hear that?” he had asked Snoke when he bled his crystal, wincing visibly.Snoke only smiled. Kylo did not ask again.

Kylo’s head throbs whenever he is near his lightsaber. And Kylo is never without his lightsaber.

Kylo, for the past eight years, has lived with a constant, low-grade headache.

“The pain will make you strong,” his master had said, reinforcing it with another punishment. 

The cry is still there, even though the shaft of his lightsaber is cleft in two, a lucky hit from a blaster in the chaos of the explosion. The crystal inside still weeps.

He leaves the smoking wreckage of the First Order transport behind. There’s one pitiful excuse for a settlement nearby, now that he’s destroyed San Tekka’s rabble camp. It takes the remnants of the First Order contingent, eight stormtroopers plus the Master of the Knights of Ren, forty minutes to hike across the dunes.

The town is hardly more than a collection of hovels.A happabore laps lazily from a murky pool in the center.There’s a sad excuse for a market.At its heart, Ren finds a structure manned by a surly looking Crolute.Scraps are being traded by the locals who survive on scavenging the imperial graveyard left from the Battle of Jakku.

“Find the pilot and the droid.They will be nearby.Call for reinforcements,”Ren commands the stormtroopers.The sand finds a way into the seams of his gloves, irritating his wound. 

At the junk station, scavengers wait their turn for their audience with the Crolute to deliver their findings.Kylo cuts the line.

The Crolute’s frown deepens behind his protective grille.“We don’t have any quarrel with the First Order.”

Kylo doesn’t bother responding. Raising his hand, he proceeds to dig through the junk boss’s mind with Force.No sign of the droid or the resistance pilot.The Crolute winces at the invasion, his broad nose twitching.

“I need to repair my weapon,” Kylo’s states, his voice disembodied through the mask.“Who is your best mechanic?”

The Crolute looks appropriately chastened. “Magdo’s competent,” he blubbers. "He’s at the corner blockhouse on your right.Or… her,”he nods to the scavenger three bodies away from the head of the line.A human girl, maybe 20 standard years, wrapped in rags, hair up in three distinctive buns.

The girl is already turning on her heel, her junk haul abandoned behind her.

Kylo freezes her with the Force. 

He causally approaches her from behind, moving to turn her.His broad hand circles her bicep easily.There’s strong, wiry muscle underneath. 

A second later, he feels a sharp impact in his gut.He sees a flash of the butt of a quarterstaff as it withdraws.Kylo doubles over.

_What just…?_

The girl is flying across the sand, making her escape, staff swinging.

Kylo doesn’t have a second to process, just acknowledge: _She escaped my Force hold!_

He uses the advantage of his stride to close the distance.“You!Wait!”He puts his command of the Force in the statement.It comes through the modulator of his helmet weaker than he intends.

The girl continues to sprint.Kylo has a longer stride but she has the benefit of experience on the dunes.Kylo feels his frustration grow as he struggles to bridge the last few feet. 

_This is stupid.Why am I chasing a girl?Why did I not go with the Crolute’s other recommendation?_

Growling, Kylo unlatches his helmet and tosses it in the sand. 

_“STOP!”_ He explodes with the Force.

The girl freezes once more.Holding a person in a Force hold can be accomplished two ways: literally by manipulating the Force around them, freezing their limbs like a blaster bolt, or with a powerful mental compulsion.Kylo generally uses the second method, as it requires less focus, but the girl apparently has a strong will.Gritting his teeth and determined not to break concentration, he jogs to face the scavenger. 

She’s not afraid.She looks at him dead on.Her mouth is fixed in a defiant line. She’s gripping her staff with white knuckles.

“You, girl.”Kylo takes a second to catch his breath.The sound of his actual voice, unmodulated, is strange.“Why did you run?”

“That’s what you do when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” she retorts, eyes flashing.He notes her refined Coruscanti accent, an interesting feature for a scavenger.Her eyes scan his now exposed face with curiosity. 

There are a few seconds of silence as they assess each other. 

Kylo tries a different tactic.“The droid. The pilot. Did you see them?”

There’s confusion at his sudden change of topic.

“What droid? There are droids all over Niima outpost.Pilots, too. You’re going to have to be more specific _._ ” She taunts. 

He could reach into her mind and make his confirmation, but he senses the truth of her words.

“I need use of your skills,” he continues.“You are a mechanic?”

The scavenger’s eyes cloud with suspicion.“Why should I help you?”

“I can pay.Credits.Supplies.Whatever you need.”

The scavenger hesitates before replying.“We’re paid in portions.”

“Portions?”

“Food.Ration packs,” she spits, still suspicious. 

“How much?” He asks.

“What do you want me to do?”

He pulls out the pieces of his lightsaber.“Can you repair this?” 

“Your hand,” she says, noticing the blaster wound as she takes the parts from him, careful to avoid his wound.“You’re injured.”

"It’s nothing,” he lies.The girl examines the pieces of the broken cylinder, turning them over with curiosity.Her face is softer, pretty even, as she explores the puzzle of the unfamiliar technology.It feels like an intrusion on an intimate moment.Kylo looks away.

“I’m not familiar with this construction.What is this?”

“I can instruct you on the repair,” he says, avoiding her question. 

“We’ll need tools.I’ll have to go back to my home.It’s twenty minutes on my speeder.”

Kylo does not want to spare the time.“What about Magdo?”he recalls.“He has tools at this settlement?”

The scavenger pauses.“Magdo is a slimy grease monkey.Yes.Although I’ll likely have to clean them before we do the work.It will cost you,”she pauses,“fifty portions.”

He senses that she thinks this is an outrageous price, and expects him to barter.“Fine,” he says.“Let’s go.”

Sensing her acquiescence, he releases her from the Force hold.He half expects her to try another hit with her quarterstaff, but instead she hands the pieces of the lightsaber back.There’s a moment where their fingers touch, and Kylo feels a shockwave in the Force.

_What happened?_

The girl does not bolt, but something is wrong.Different.He can’t put his finger on it. 

They are nearly at the entrance to Magdo’s shop when he realizes it. 

His Kyber crystal.It’s gone silent for the first time in years.

———

Rey still does not think she can trust the man from the First Order.But for the promise of fifty portions, she’ll take the risk.Whatever magic he used to her to freeze her alarmed her, she’d have to be careful of that.Still, when she saw the face behind the mask, something changed.It was startlingly young, almost vulnerable. Whatever he was, she’s certainly dealt with worse:Unkar Plutt and his cronies, for one.

They bang on the steel doors at the entrance of Magdo’s shelter.Rey uses her staff for emphasis.

“MAGDO!”Rey bellows, before the First Order man can get a word in.He gives her a curious glance, as if he’s used to having the first and last word in every situation. “Get your womp rat ass out here!” She continues.

The doors finally slide open with a hiss.A squat, fat humanoid appears, wheezing and plodding. “Girl.What do you want.I was in the middle of watching my favorite holocast—”

“We need to use your workbench,” Rey interrupts.She nods at the tall, broad man in black next to her. 

Magdo grumbles.“I don’t know about that,” planting his feet. 

The First Order man looks impatient.“Get. Out,” he says to Magdo, simply.There’s a strange tingle in the air as he forms the words. 

Amazingly, Magdo says nothing, he just walks out into the Jakku sun.Rey’s mouth hangs a little open. 

She sees a slight smile form on the corner of the First Order man’s lips.“After you,” he offers.

“How did you…?”Rey marvels, not really expecting a reply.Something in the man’s expression has changed, she notes.He looks more relaxed, his brow softened.

They find the workbench in the back.Rey pulls out a stool, flipping on a light.The man sits next to her in a high back chaired, placing the broken pieces on the table between them.

Rey makes an assessment of the tools and sighs.“As predicted, everything’s a mess.There’s sand in the thermal cutter and the welding rod has a button that’s stuck.”The man watches her with rapt attention as she arranges the tool bench and wipes the items with a rag.He cradles his injured hand gingerly. 

“My name is Rey, by the way,” she says, a way of breaking the awkward silence.

“Kylo Ren.”He says simply. 

“Kylo,” she tests his name on her tongue.It feels… wrong.“I have to know, otherwise this is going to go very badly.What _exactly_ am I fixing here?”

A pause.“My lightsaber.”

“A _lightsaber?_ ”Rey flashes back to images of the hero Luke Skywalker on the holovids of the previous Galactic war.“Are you a Jedi?” A touch of awe.

He ignores the question.He speaks to her slowly, as if she’s a child.“Yes, my lightsaber.It was hit with a blaster in my last…confrontation.The power assembly has been ruptured and the outer casing will need to be repaired, or replaced.I need you to examine the field conductor and tell me if it can be salvaged.

“The crystal,” Kylo continues, looking away.“It may be damaged.I’ll have to remove it before you can get to work on the core.”With his uninjured hand, the man gently palms the upper assembly and disengages the crystal, leaving it on the table beside them. 

At his signal to proceed, Rey nods and gets to work, disassembling the remainder of the cylinder.“What are these?”

“Those are vents.They allow some of the heat from the plasma to escape.My crystal is cracked and emits a high degree of extra heat.”

“Sounds dangerous,” Rey mutters skeptically. 

“It’s a weapon.Of course it’s dangerous.”Kylo’s eyes flash.

“So you’ve used this?To kill people?”

“Do you want to know the answer to that?” He challenges her, softly.“I think you already know.”

Rey goes cold. 

Ren instructs her on how to remove the outer casing on the upper assembly to expose the power chamber.The field conductor is a black charred mess, and will need electronics work, although she thinks the outer pieces can be ion-welded back into a stable shape.He watches her quietly as she digs through Magdo’s supplies for the right dual-field wiring. 

She finds herself entering her typical mindset when she’s doing detailed, technical work.Zoning out and flowing into it the work completely.Minutes may past, or hours.She’s jolted back when Kylo clears his throat. She is absently humming out loud.

“You have a good hand for this sort of work.Where did you learn it?” He asks.There is no overt hostility in the question, but there is a layer of suspicion he's attempting to mask in his voice. “Have you ever handled a lightsaber?”

Rey snorts.“Yes, between my vibroshield and electron ion cannon, I manage to get some practice time in with a laser sword.Do you know where you are?”

Kylo snorts. “As far as I can tell, probably the last place on earth I’d find anyone with a lightsaber.”

“You’re right.I don’t know what brings the First Order to Jakku, but we’re far away from all of the action in the Core.The most exciting thing that happens here is when Unkar Plutt gets too aggressive with his swindling, and a scavenger attempts to call him out on it.Then he sends out his goons, they have it out with their fists, etcetera.”

“Unkar Plutt?”

“That grotesque blobfish you were talking to earlier.He runs all of the junk trade here on Jakku.”Her eyes flash with anger.“He’s a snake.”Rey doesn’t know why she’s telling all of this to him.It’s probably the most words she’s strung together in years.

She doesn’t know why she’s helping anyone from the First Order at all.But something about the man, when removed his mask, compelled her.

She finishes the wire work and starts welding the inner casing of the field conductor back in shape.“Do you alway ask so many questions?”, she teases. “I always assumed behind your masks, you First Order people were droid, or clones.” 

Kylo smiles, just a corner of his mouth turning up. “As you can see, all organic here.Also, here haven’t been clone stormtroopers since the days of Galactic empire. Besides, a droid,” pointing to the lightsaber, “—would have no use of that.”

He sighs and sits back.“My head.It hasn’t been so clear in ages,” he admits.

“You’ve had… pain? A headache?”

“Something like that.”That small smile again.It’s unnerving.Too humanizing.She wonders where his mask went.It’s sitting somewhere gathering sand in the desert, discarded after their chase. 

“You’re not what I expected,” Rey admits.“Although I have to admit, I’ve never really had an extended conversation with anyone from the First Order.”

“No?” Kylo replies, amused. “I suppose not.Stormtroopers are not the chattiest of folks.”

“No, and even if they were, we tend to make ourselves scarce when they show up,” Rey smiles.“Though I suppose behind their masks, they are just normal people, like you,”Rey adds, knowing that this is a half-truth.There is nothing normal about the lightsaber wielding man that can freeze people with his mind.But part of her only sees a young man who looks a little tired, and lost. 

Rey doesn’t know why, but she reaches into the pouch at her belt and pulls out a treasured prize.A bacta patch.It was many days of scavenging to earn it. She places it on the table, pushing it hesitantly toward the man in invitation.

He stares at it with a blank look for several seconds, before picking it up with his good hand. 

“Thank you,” he says finally.It comes out broken, halting, as if he’s not used to forming the words. He removes the glove, and applies the bacta patch.“I’ll see you are compensated.”

Rey just nods.

There is a moment of quiet as Rey works.“Why don’t you do something about that Crolute?” Kylo asks.“You’re strong.You have skills.You could also just leave this place.The First Order would hire a mechanic like you in a second.”

“I have no interest in getting involved with the First Order or any of that.If we got rid of Plutt, another vile junk lord would simply rise in his place.Better the devil you know.”

“The First Order is not what you think,” he lectures haughtily. “We’re trying to create something from the chaos and lawlessness the New Republic has allowed to fester.Prevent scum like Plutt and other gangs from reigning their brand of oppression in pockets of the galaxy.” He flexes his hand, which is already much recovered due to the fast-acting bacta. 

“If you say so,” she responds simply.

He looks annoyed.“Then why don’t you just leave Jakku?This place can’t have much of a charming nightlife.”

At that, Rey smiles.If someone told her she’d start the day getting frustrated at her meager pickings, and end it having a casual conversation about her opportunities in the galaxy with a lightsaber-wielding First Order officer, she would called them a bantha shit-eater.

“I’m waiting for someone to return,” she says slowly. “My family.They left.But they will come for me.” She doesn’t look at Kylo as she forms the words, who remains silent at her response.

“And what about the First Order?Why don’t you leave?Why did you even join?” Rey ventures, trying to keep a light tone in her voice.

Kylo looks pained at the question. “It is… where I belong,“ he finally says.“My family is also… estranged. I can’t go back.Only forward.”

“I sometimes feel I’m only ever staying still,”Rey says sadly.“I know,” she admits, “that perhaps my family is also lost to me.But most days, that hope is the only thing that keeps me going.”She does not know why she is spilling out her heart’s secrets to this man.Something in the way he’s staring at her.They are dark pools of sympathy now, where earlier, they were cold granite.His lips are soft, where they were tight lines.His other mask is cracked.

“Come with me,” he murmurs, the words rushing out, laced with vulnerability.She senses how much they cost him.“The First Order can be your new home.” 

It is too much for Rey.She reverts back to her combative tone, comfortable and familiar.“You hurt people,” she accuses, not thinking about the consequences.“You take children from their families and turn them into your soldier slaves.”There’s heat in her voice as she remembers how she was ripped from her own.She knows she’s treading on dangerous ground, but can’t stop herself.

Suddenly, Kylo’s look turns deadly.He brings his bacta-patched hand on her wrist tightly, interrupting her work. He’s searching her face.He’s so close she can smell him, a combination of blood, smoke, and a fresh scent unfamiliar to those in Jakku who rarely get the opportunity to bathe.

Rey jumps up a little in her seat. She realizes how large he is. 

“Who are you?” He demands slowly.“How do you know what to do with that lightsaber?”

Rey looks down, finding the cylinder assembled.The crystal on the table is nowhere to be found. _I must have zoned out and placed it in._ _What is the big deal?_

“I don’t know,” she cries, a bolt of fear rising in her throat.

Kylo Ren does not relax his grip.

———

Kylo finds himself face to face with the scavenger.He has so many questions. _Why has his crystal stopped screaming?_

He removes his hand slowly, weeping a little blood from the blaster wound through the bacta patch. The girl looks frightened now, once again convinced he is a monster. 

_Good. She should know._

He had almost fooled himself, with their easy conversation.Without the pain in his head, it had felt natural.Safe. 

He examines his weapon, and meditates through the Force to visualize the inner components.As he had suspected, although he had stopped giving instructions, the girl instinctively knew what to do.Jedi train for months to learn how to assemble their lightsabers.Rey handled it with the ease of a practiced master.The crystal should have been impossible to place accurately without the precision of Force meditation. 

The girl is either hiding something, or something else was at work. 

Is she Force sensitive?She’s old, perhaps too old for an awakening.He reaches out through the Force and feels nothing but her distinctive Force signature.

The flash of fear he saw in the girl vanishes as she draws herself up. She, like him, wears a mask.She looks angry, snatching her hand away. 

“What is wrong?”She snaps. “I fixed your weapon.”

They are interrupted by the sound of the doors rushing open. It’s Magdo, with a cadre of stormtroopers.

“Sir,” one of the stormtroopers speaks.“We found the pilot.We’re bringing him on board for questioning.The droid is missing.We have a team searching the planet.”

Kylo rises up, snatching his lightsaber.The girl still fumes.He can practically feel her irritation.

“Bring a case of rations to the girl in payment for her services to the First Order.At least 100 kits.Stay here and make the arrangements.”He doesn’t look at her as he says the words.

The stormtrooper nods. “One more thing, Commander.We found this in the desert.”

His mask.

Snatching it from the stormtrooper’s outstretched hands, he gives the girl one last, long look before heading back to the _Finalizer._

———

A few hours later, Kylo gets the news.

“Sir, we were unable to acquire the droid in Jakku.It escaped aboard a stolen Correllian YT model freighter.”

“The droid… stole a freighter?”Kylo deadpans.The news should enrage him, he thinks. 

His head is remarkably clear.

“Not exactly sir.It had help.We believe FN-2187 stayed on the planet, and may have helped in the escape. 

The officer flinches in anticipation, expecting a Kylo Ren-esque tantrum demonstrating his _disappointment_.Reflexively, Kylo pulls out his lightsaber, parroting an anger he oddly does not feel.

He had not considered that he had not yet tested the scavenger’s work. 

Lighsaber construction is highly dangerous. Best case, nothing happens.Worse case, it explodes.

In the nanosecond before he hits the switch, these possibilities cross his mind.

The lightsaber does not explode.But something is very, very wrong.

A pale blue light emerges from the hilt. 

Shocked, Kylo simply stares at the foreign blade. 

A Kyber crystal once bled cannot be healed.Not without a powerful command of the Force, and even then, hours of effort that would still likely result in failure. _The girl_ , he breathes. _Impossible_.Kylo would have sensed it.

 _What is happening?_ He wonders.

The officer is staring at his blade.Kylo shuts it off.

“Ready my ship,” he commands.“I need a unit to accompany me to Jakku.We need to fetch the scavenger who repaired my lightsaber.” 

The officer looks at him in terror.“Sir… I’m afraid she’s not there. The droid and the stormtrooper.They were accompanied by the girl.”

———

He thinks he is mad, returning to this dustbowl planet to search for her. 

On Jakku, he finds little in the way of clues.The remnants of an AT-AT.Her so-called home, he snorts. He finds thousands of curious hatch marks on the wall.A doll, made up to look like a rebellion fighter.An old data pad.The crate of rations issued by the First Order, untouched. 

He waits for hours, knowing she will not return.

He is definitely not in his right mind.

A group of diminutive reptilian scavengers, Teedos, approach the AT-AT in a modified speeder.They think the shelter is abandoned.They scurry out and stagger their approach, greedily assessing their mark.One, feeling confident, ventures close.

Kylo snarls steps out and pulls out his lightsaber, moving to attack.He raises his weapon for a killing stroke, his target well within his reach. 

The creature sees him, and cowers, shrinking back.

Something in Kylo deflates.The anger rushes out of him. 

He stares at the blue blade of the lightsaber in his hand, frozen in the air.

The Teedo takes his opportunity to escape.The others retreat, scrambling back up their speeder and taking off. 

Kylo lowers his lightsaber as the they vanish in the distance.

He struggles with the well of feelings rising up in him.There’s confusion.A prick of loneliness.

He is definitely not in his right mind.

Kylo leaves a team of stormtroopers at her homestead with instructions:

 _Notify him if the scavenger returns. Stand guard against any intruders._ _Do not let the other scavengers touch her things._

He is definitely not in his right mind.

_———_

On the _Finalizer_ , he meditates on the crystal, attempting to feed it the rage it needs to bleed red. 

He can’t catch hold of it.Instead, he sees the girl’s face in his mind, over and over again.The way she smiled and hummed as she worked.

Hours pass.The crystal is still a pale blue.

Kylo swears in frustration.

_———_

When he lands on Takodana, Kylo is restless with anticipation.He can feel her.Her Force signature.It’s familiar, but different somehow.He breaks from the stormtroopers hunting the droid and heads to the forest. 

She’s running from him, again.She has a blaster this time. 

Reflexively, he tears off his mask. 

“REY,” he screams.

She freezes and turns, raising her blaster to his face, arm shaking.

“I saw you,”she accuses.“In a vision.With that red lightsaber,” she points, "surrounded by evil masked men.You raised it against me.You were going to strike me down.” 

She is different.He can feel the Force swirling around her now.It’s like a dam spilled open.

“It was a Force vision,” he explains, trying to tamp down his frustration. _Why is she so angry with him again?Why is she always running?_ “You had an awakening in the Force.The visions… they are unreliable.”

And as if to prove this to her, he ignites his lightsaber.She jumps at first, then stares in awe at the blue light.

Kylo explains.“A lightsaber is red when the crystal is bled.You… healed my crystal.It should not have been possible. When I discovered the screaming had stopped, I thought it had been damaged. But it was you.”

“The screaming?”Rey asks, still confused. 

“The cause of my headaches.” Kylo takes a step closer.“The crystal, once bled, emits a sound audible through the Force.On Jakku, it stopped.I had thought it was due to the damage from the blaster, but it happened when you touched it,” he explained.“I still can’t explain it,” he shakes his head.

“Join me,” he asks again, once more unable to hold back. “I can show you the ways of the Force.”

Rey shakes her head, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.“Finn told me about you, Kylo Ren.The things you did, on Jakku.They things you’ve done in the First Order.You’re trying to hunt down Luke Skywalker, a _hero_ , and _murder_ him.That’s why you want the droid. You’re a _monster_.”

Kylo peeks into her mind, just a little, and sees an image of a stormtrooper — FN-2187 — describing his own deeds.He sees something else.She’s seen the map to Luke.

 _This is not going the way I planned,_ he grits his teeth, frustration giving way to rage at the mention of Luke.“You’ll come with me.You’ll give me the map to Luke Skywalker,”he steps forward again.He presses his will onto her with his mind.

She resists.“No, Kylo.This isn’t you,” she says, her light burning through now that the Force has been awakened.How could he have missed it, before?It is almost blinding.

He raises his lightsaber against her, the blue light only making her determined features more sharp.She searches his face, unafraid.So bright with hope. _What can she see in him?_ She drops her blaster, grabbing his wrist gently as the lightsaber hovers inches from her face.

Growling in frustration, he raises his other hand in a swift movement and concentrates.Rey’s eyes roll back as she falls unconscious in a Force sleep.Kylo flicks off his lightsaber, catching her before she falls.

Gently, he takes her in his arms and cradles her unconscious body on his.He doesn’t look at the way her head lulls against his chest.His heart is racing as he carries her back to his ship.

———

Kylo stands on a bridge at Starkiller base, facing his father. 

“I’m being torn apart— I want to be free of this pain.”Kylo cries, his voice breaking, his eyes glossy with emotion. 

“I know what I have to do,” he continues.“But I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.

“Will you help me?”Kylo whispers.He is staring at his father, but he is speaking to Rey.The woman who healed his lightsaber, who escaped his detention cell, who fed a part of him he thought long dead and made it grow.She’s watching the exchange from a balcony in the distance.But it’s like she’s right there with him in the Force.

“Yes.Anything,” his father says. 

Almost imperceptibly, Rey nods, but Kylo feels it. His father’s words are echoed in his mind by Rey:

 _“Anything,”_ she says wordlessly, her face tearing up with joy. 

Something in him breaks.Hope floods to fill it, a warm bath.Kylo drops his mask, for the last time.

Ben Solo cradles his lightsaber in his palms, passing it to his father, and lets go. 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to enjoy some nice laughs with our seriously sweet couple, you might enjoy
> 
> [A Cat, a Porg, and a Jedi Enter a Bar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324354)


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